Sorry~

I apologize for the lack of posts. I'll at least try and post something every couple of days even if the other anons don't. Thank you for your patience.

~Snickerdoodle~

Prisoner Of My Mind

Do this, do that
Do not touch this, grab that 
Lie down, get up 
I control you 
I am your mind

What’re they going to think of you?
They hate you 
Don’t talk to them 
They think you’re a slut 
I run your thoughts
I am your mind

Love him, love him not 
I’ll play with your emotions
Until you drop from frustration 
Play with him like a doll
I’ll control your life
I am your mind

Break free!
Your mind is insane 
It isn’t you to blame
Follow your dreams 
I’ll keep you safe
I hold your emotions 
I am your heart 

I stopped for a moment 
And listened to my heart 
My heart told me I’m a prisoner of my mind
I understand now 
I broke my chains and set myself free
No longer am I 
A prisoner of my mind

~Pickles~

Father's Day Poem

Deep breathe
Pull the bat back
Just like that
Wait for the ball
Ready, set, CRACK

Good job, dootz
Remember to swing smooth
Always bat with left over right
Never grip it too tight, alright?
Wait for the ball

Ready, set, CRACK!
I swung the bat with a death grip
See what I told you?
He took my hands in his and rubbed them roughly
You’ll learn surely

Next stay 4 feet away from first base
Remember this is a race
Between you and the runner
To see who can get there first
Wait for the ball

Ready, set, CRACK!
Go go go to first base!
Open your glove
And remember to squeeze
Good job, dootz!
I’m so proud of you

“The game’s over and I’m hungry”
“Then let’s go get some ice cream,” He chuckled wholeheartedly
He put his hand on my shoulder and shook it lightly
As we walked out of the ball park
I looked back
So I could remember that moment
And put it in my memories

~Pickles~

The Odd Man In

Everyday.

The same routine.

“Kill the enemy. Escape.”

I guess it's better that way.

“Launching in 3...” announced the over-head speaker, echoing throughout the hull of the airplane.

Maybe my life was meant to be like this.

“2...”

I don't know, I am a minor cyborg.

“1...”

“Kill the enemy. Escape.”

I can do that, right?

“Deploying.”

The metal plate released beneath me and sent me plummeting to the ground. “Aerial devices. Activate.” I said, out of breath. I felt the vibrations through my equipment as the wings pulled out of their holsters. My free fall slowed down and I hit the ground on my feet.

Another cyborg hit the ground next to me and stumbled slightly. I tilted my head and he nodded, straightening himself. We don't say anything here. Nothing is to be said. We simply do whatever the voice tells us to.

“Target is due west 3 miles. Head there immediately. Destroy whatever is in your way.”

I can do that, right?

I hate the voice in my head. Always giving me orders. It makes me feel like I'm always being watched. I feel like an animal, going around killing people like this.

I can't really say “I”, I suppose. I'm sure we all can agree on that. Ever since the attack on planet earth. They enslave anybody who stands in their way, turning them into cyborgs and forcing them to obey orders. You disobey, you get zapped. Enough zapping and you're dead. I heard there's yet another resistance around, but that won't last very long. They've already tracked down several of them.

We've been walking for 1 and a half miles now. My legs are starting to grow weary, my legs mostly being moved more by the suit than my actual muscles. Why couldn't they drop us off closer to the site? All this walking is wearing me out.

“Why couldn't we fly there, computer?” I ask out loud.

“We don't want to attract attention, cyborg 327.”

“Right.” I attempted to scowled but failed. My face was jammed in a very uncomfortable spot, with the visor biting into the bridge of my nose.

Finally, I can now see the house. It's a small shack, looking like it's almost like it could be blown over in a stiff breeze.

“Approach with caution. Cyborg, 834, 981, and 653, surround the site. 327, move in through the front door.”

327. That's me. I don't even remember my real name anymore.

I lift my stun gun and walk up towards the door. With caution. Like the computer said. I kicked in the door and looked around through my gun sight.

“No signs of life, computer. Please turn on the heat filter.”

My visor flickered, then all reds and blues came up, filtering the temperatures of the room. I scanned the room once more. There. A body. In the corner. It seemed to be in a fetal position.

“You. There. Stand up and put your hands above your head.”

The figure slowly stood. “Hello Charley.”

What?

The figure launched forward.

Then everything went black.

~Snickerdoodle~ 
[With help from her good friend, Tennyson]

The Blade

Here I lay, in this cold empty shell,
The world is around me, seemingly inviting,
Yet here I am enclosed in this Hell.
I strive to go on, but fail miserably in my trying.

Nothing is right, my blue sky fades black.
The only one I need is the one I am without.
I see everyone sneering and jeering behind my back,
Every last one of them, battling for the clout.

So here once again, I curl up, hiding from what’s real.
The one thing there that never lies is this blade.
So welcoming it rests in my hand, perfectly expressing how I feel.
Before anyone can stop me, it’s far too late.

Slicing through my pale skin, out drains blood red,
The anger and sadness slips through the incision like my life force.
Gazing at my scars and fresh inflictions, I realize I am dead.
Nothing to feel, no more worries, my stars are back on the right course.

Perhaps I have taken it too far this time, for I went too deep.
Now laying on the cold ground, surrounded by the warmth of my blood,
I look up to the ceiling, thinking about how I can now be free.
Maybe this is what it’ll take for you to realize I needed your love. 

But, I know that no one will come looking for my pitiful self.
Though I shall miss the ones I leave behind, their memory will fade.
I honestly believe that you never even really cared at all.
So here I slip into the land of nothingness, my last sight being that of the blade.

~CrayCrayola~

Weekly Dose of Cherry Blossoms And Cyanide [Issue 1: Food]

So.... food, huh? Well, when I think of food, I think of those taquitos on the rollers in 7-11. They just sit there. They're so expensive, nobody ever buys them (more than a dollar per taquito?!), so they just sit there on the rollers, spinning and spinning. Kept warm by a heat lamp... slowly gaining dust... When you sit there and stare at them, (which maybe I did once before.... I was bored okay.) they kind of have this shiny complexion, like they're plastic or something. And then whenever a hobo comes in, and buys one, you just sit there and stare at him like “you have only $5 and you buy two really old taquitos with it?” And then 7-11 does those deals where it's $3 or something for a soda and two taquitos, like they're trying to get rid of them. Like “You're buying a soda? Here's 15 fake meat slightly-hotter-than-lukewarm taquitos to go with it!” So you go home with 15 fake meat slightly-hotter-than-lukewarm taquitos that you feed to your fish. Which is probably why your fish died last week. Yeah.
~Snickerdoodle~



You know what I don't get? Popcorn at the movie theater  As soon as you step through those doors the aroma just hits you in the face. Soon, your mouth starts to water, your stomach growls and you're trying to get as big o' whiff as you can. As your anticipation rises and you get your large popcorn(extra butter for me, because French blood) as well as a large coke; you go up to pay and then you're like "wat". Almost twenty dollars for TWO items. Really? I can buy a box of thirty bags of unpopped popcorn for less than that! What's the point? It's like paying for three movie tickets instead of one. One ticket is about ten dollars. I swear, prices are insane. It's enough to make you not even want to buy popcorn or even go to the movies anymore! But I still go and buy that twenty dollar combo. Why you may ask? "[ I ] just went off saying how horrible it is!" Well, dear reader, that's because I am a spoiled American teenager and I don't give a crap, therefore I will be more than happy to spend my family's money just so I can have a snack. No, but really. I usually don't even get anything. I find those prices for what you get absolutely ridiculous. To be honest, I am very conscious of what and how much I spend - whether it's MY money, or that of others. If only the theaters would realize that most of us are on social security or disability. Seriously? Making things so expensive it dilutes from the movie experience? That's just cold. However, if you have the means, go right ahead! Enjoy yourself. But for the rest of us struggling to get by, it would be nice to have popcorn at the theater without breaking the bank. 
~CrayCrayola~

         Do you like food? Well I do. I’m a food fanatic, food is life. Food is like the icing on the cake, the hot dog to my bun, the banana to my sundae… You get the picture, right? Okay, food. The topic is food. Fooooooooooooooood. Foooooood. Okay well I like lots of kinds of food too, like fruits, meats, and sweets. You following me? Lets go~! 
A= Apple slices 
B= Bananas 
C= cookies 
D= Dumplings (mmmmmm dumplins~) 
E= elephant ears 
F= French Fries 
G= Gushers 
H= Hot chocolate 
I=  ice cream 
J= Jell-O Cubes 
K= Krabby Patty 
L= Lemon pie 
M= Mac n’ Cheese 
N= Nachos 
O= Oreos 
P= Pepperoni and egg sandwich 
Q= Quesadillas 
R= Rice 
S= Steak 
T= taquitos from 7-11 ;D 
U= Ubes 
V= VANILLA BEAAAAANNNNNNNSSSSSSS 
W= Whoppers 
X= Xavier Soup 
Y= Yellow cake 
Z= Zucchini. 
So there :D 
~Pickles~

Next topic: Sports!

The New Girl

When I look in the mirror
It's me who I see
A thin, scrawny girl
Is not who I want to be

Freckles adorn my cheeks
Pale lips shaped into a scowl
As I stare at my true image
Who could be my pal?

But when I look away
And I cannot see myself
A new person comes
And the old girl sits on the shelf

The new girl is much prettier
And smarter too
With sparkling eyes
And fashion sense to boot

And as long as I never look
At that girl in the mirror
Those dull green eyes
Will never shed a tear

I don't like myself
And I never will
But as long as I pretend
My self-esteem stays still

My imagination is my only refuge
As long as I stay inside my head
My beauty doesn't falter
And I stand as the new girl instead

~Snickerdoodle~

Another Day

I went to you
In the hospital 
I never thought it was possible
To see you lying there
To see you dying there 
The doctors bickered
You were getting sicker
I wanted to believe
That you would never leave
But that wasn’t possible 
In fact it was impossible
I had to accept the facts
To keep track
Of the days you had left
And the sicker you got
It hit the spot
In my heart that made me sob
To see you lying there
To see you dying there
To see you fade away
When mornings light came
You had gone away 
I cried for days
It was a big change
To go to your house 
And only hear a mouse
Not the big booming voice you had 
Or the jokes that made me laughed
I still miss you today 
And I never wanted you to go away
I wished you stayed
But for now I’ll walk away from your grave
And hope to see you another day
In the sky 
You and I 
Forever apart 
Forever away
I’ll see you another day


~Pickles~

The Butterfly

Picking up a razor, I gaze at my arm.
Thus begins the cycle of my self-harm.
Slicing my wrists, carving my thighs,
Now my skin matches how I feel inside.

Cutting deeper than ever before,
I am frightened yet relieved as blood begins to pour.
I sit in this corner, drenched red
Wondering if somehow I’d be better off dead.

Tears stream down my pale face,
Feeling I simply don’t belong in any place.
I can’t be your perfect missing puzzle piece,
When I would give up this life just to have peace.

Completely full of pain and darkness, 
I’m reunited with the one friend I miss.
The butterfly, who flutters in with its wings of hope,
Settles on my wrist to help me cope.

No more cuts and no more scars,
Just a little butterfly who came from very far.
Love adorns its wings, reminding I’m never alone.
Able to smile now, I see how much I’ve grown.

New-found tears of joy shed from hurting eyes,
I’m happy I now have this savior, the butterfly.
I will protect it now and never let it die,
So that I may return the favor for saving my life.

~CrayCrayola~

Why I Don't Like Crowds

So I've never liked crowds. At all. I have situational claustrophobia and crowds are placed up high on the list of situations. Here's an example of what it feels like to be in a crowd, that happened the other day:

So  the other day, my brother took me to a free concert. I was pretty excited since I had only been to a few before. When we got there, there was a really long line, starting from the bottom of a long staircase up to the top of the large parking garage that was flooded with loud music. I gulped. When my brother and I got up on top, we found most of the crowd was up front. The back, where we were, wasn't so bad. I would have gladly stayed where I was, but my brother insisted on pulling reluctant me up into the tightly packed group of people right in front of the stage. After about 20 minutes, I was ready to hurl. The couple of "too-white-for-you" girls that were twirking in front of me, and the constant push and pull of the people coming and going was enough to make my skin crawl. The music was good, and the base was intense, but the mixed sent of perfume, colone, and cigarette smoke was making my vision blur. As the first band left the stage (Polytype was their name), I finally tapped my brother's shoulder and asked if we could leave. He scowled.
"Why do you want to leave? We've only heard one band."
"The crowd is starting to really bother me. Please?"
"Fine, let's hear the first few songs of this guy, though, okay?"
I reluctantly nodded. After the second song, ended, my brother looked over his shoulder at me. "You like?"
I really did. This guy was amazing. I wanted to stay, but every instinct I had was telling me to leave. Finally, I shook my head. He shrugged and led me out of the crowd, down the stairs, and into the fresh air, which I gulped down like a cold Dr Pepper.

I think a good way to describe being in a crowd (for me, anyways), is drowning. Being forced back and forth by waves, senses on overdrive, stomach churning, and mouth and nose being filled with something you don't want. (I have no experienced drowning before, but I'm assuming this is what it's like...)

El Psy Congroo
~Snickerdoodle~